Writer Block?

Wow, what is going on here. I have like 10 posts partially written here but I can't finish them to post them. It's not a time thing either. I have time right now. I have been typing for almost 2 hours now but the only ones I can finish are the ones I can't post. (sigh)

Am I in a creative stupor? No, that can't be because my ideas and interest in dA related things are flowing like water and are starting to become very good. Also, if I were having a complete writers block deal I wouldn't be able to write up the ones that I can't post. And some of them are uber long too. Well, I certainly don't want to give up trying. It's not like I can't think of stuff to talk about I just can't get it to come out of my head right now. My appologies to the readers, few and loyal.

Two things I could mention before I go though...

-The bible study this week went extreamly well. I was steadied and focused because I was looking to Him for the guidance and support. Something I'm still learning. I admit I didn't know how to start it but once it did start it just kept moving. People seemed to like the questions or at least they responded well enough to them. The group had an overall good time and the group prayer at the end also went well. Did I really expect it to not go well? No, but that never seems to fend off 100 percent of the worry. :p It was nice to have such a good turnout and fellowship again. It was also nice to have the meeting at Mascots house and I am thankfull for that small mercy. Any how, I have great interest in starting up a study either at work (desperatly needed) or in my appartment eventually. Right now might not be the best time with everything else going on but it is a definate for the future.

-Today was the wedding of a couple from the other bible study. It was quite possibly the best wedding I have been to in my life. (Which meens maybe best out of 20.) I loved the church though I don't know the name. I loved the music which I also don't recall now. I loved the crowd which comprised of very God oriented people and very attractive people or so it seemed anyway. I loved the way the serimony was layed out in terms of scripture references and the pastors explanation of them. It was just such a great time. Oh and the couple who got married are wonderfull people themselves. =P Their is much to say about this as well as the reception but that is a post that will not be.

If I don't soon get some real posts in here I'm gonna have to get drastic. Well, I don't have to get drastic but it's important to me...this site. Even if people aren't reading it, it remains an outlet and is a lot of fun.

Mandatory disaster talk

So, I know it's already everywhere in the media and most of us have already talked about it quite a bit but I thought I'd ramble a little on it here too.

So, from what I gather, people can't read their futures and this fact seems to come as a shock to many people who have a hard time accepting that mistakes or tragedies happen. What happened down their was a whopping disaster, no doubt. Many lives will be lost in the chaos of it and sure most of it "could" have been avoided. But it wasn't avoided and though funding or exspeediancy issues can be traced back to human error it was a violent storm and a broken water barrier that has taken such a large toll. Those who made mistakes will not likely slip away unrecognized, but is now really the time to through mud. People are in severe distress and yet people everywhere are pointing fingers and saying "why wasn't this planned and executed perfectly?" I don't know what planet you were born on but around this part of the galaxy crap hits the fan all the time. Though it often has a human factor that started it, it never helps to get bent way out of shape about it. I'm by no means saying that this matter should be taken lightly. I simply don't believe that anger, hate, and blameing is the wisest way to proceed in any such event.
I'll stop there...

Anyway, I am happy to see the other side step up to the task before them. I am referring to the ones who are not looking to fight or further their own agendas. The ones who are giving and careing about the injured and lost. People from all over the country are giving in the way of donations and taking up efforts to lend a physical hand where they can. I love these people. They feel as much for the nameless victims as they would if it were their own families. I have heard that in the first few days of the disaster the local voluteer offices in Harrisburg were actually turning people away because they already had 700 volunteers to go down and help.

That's love. That's the way it is supposed to be. It is hard to not give it all away in a time like this. Empty the savings account and go live with a relative so that a family can move into the appartment for a while but their will be plenty of time to help and to give in the coming months.

If you haven't given to the cause and can please do. Anything is better than nothing. Links for donations are on the right. If you have a specific and usefull skill like a medical professional (man or animal), an engineering knowledge, or even an empty summer house or extra room that you don't use please consider calling someone who can help you put it to use.

How (not) to write a blog...

Man, seems I am all over the board these days. These writings are like loosely bound strings of thought which I suppose makes sense seeing as how this is MY diary. ^_^ They do follow a pattern most of the time, I just wonder how hard it is to find and follow the pattern sometimes. Oh well, hopefully I will be able to take more time to think out the next posts before typing them up. The funny thing is that their is just so much to talk about and so little time to focus and write it up...'er type.

Some recent events:

I have taken a second (part-time) job at my office for some extra cash. It's only ten hours a week cleaning. Nothing to be real excited over but I don't know how I'll ever really make progress on the savings account and the few things I want to pay off if I don't find some other income. It pays well and the hours are negotiable so long as it gets done. The company was not happy with the cleaning service we used to have and finally dumped them.

I am schedualed to lead (help lead) my first bible study on the 21st of this month which I am very excited about. I want to really prepare for this but not try to plan everything, sort of like with camp. The group is on the last chapter of the Ecclesiasties Study so it should be pretty neat to close the study down as well. Also, it is going to be on familiar territory as Mascot is hosting it that week. Yay!

Also, some prayers have been answered or are being answered as we speak. Things all across the board really. Things specifically for me and for those close to me. I want to say all of them but maybe I shouldn't since I don't know how they would feel about that. It's one thing for me to dump my thoughts here, but not everyone is so comfortable with the idea.

Tommorrow the other group is meeting at Hershey Park for the evening and then Saturday we are supposed to go Golfing. I am excited to do all this but have to admit I don't know how well the golfing outing will go as my right side has been giving me some trouble lately. It's not bad but I am keeping an eye on it and wonder what carrying 20 pounds of golfing gear will do to upset it. We'll see.

I got a second letter from Pam last week and with it came a cute crayon drawing of what I assume is her home. It is very sweet and is hanging on my fridge. The coolest part is that this letter is written directly from her as apposed to the first one which was from a woman at the Compassion community center she goes to. Now I am really looking forward to sending her some kind of picture as well. So much comes to mind though, need to narrow it down.

Lastly, I am finally getting back to the school work. (Yes, I have been on this one class for like...ever.) It was nice to sit down last night and push through a couple chapters. I love researching and answering questions on the scripture. So with any luck I'll be finished with this class by next Tuesday. Weeee!

Invisible War

...not just a great PC game.

Ok. Here's the deal and it might sound strange. In fact I am not sure how it will even sound as I'm typing. I consider myself somewhat suseptable to spiritual things. Though my faith has only really been a part of my life for 9 years or so, I have always taken an interest in religion and paranormal topics. Light and dark. I have had many occasions when I have had "occurances" with things I can't define and I'm not talking about considences or feeling the mood change in a room.

The topic was brought up by a movie preview. The movie is based on a true event but obviously it has been hollywoodized. The movie is "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" about Anneliese Michel who was born in the 50's and led a difficult life which ended in the 70's. She had been possesed in much the same way as "Legion" had. Curious about her story I researched and found a good bit on it. I also found a good bit on posession, it's causes, methods, and survivor stories about posessions. Do I believe in posession? Yes. Do I think much about it? No.

To me their is as much intangible and undefined reality as their is defined. It was built this way as purposfully as anything else and at times lines cross. I don't know how or why, but they do. Anyway, I was reading these survivor stories and became wrapped up in them. I realize they may be false or exagerated, but for the moment lets assume they aren't. Consider what this means to us. Consider the dangers we walk beside every day that we can't see. Sure we can learn to look both ways before crossing the street or to carry mace when we walk home in the dark but we aren't ready for this. We aren't prepared.

I considered the thought, "what is posession?". It is often thought to be like the exorcist movies, violent and terrifying. But that is not posessions true definition it is what we watch on the screen. So, lets again make the assumption that a person can be posessed or in struggle for posession without being in such dire circumstances. Ok, so, could it be you? It could be me.

As I read these stories a connection was made in my head. If I were not a believer I might toss it aside in my disbelief. But I know to much to be true to simply neglect the possiblity. What does this mean to me? Maybe it means I am fighting demons in a more literal sense as apposed to the figureative meaning. It might sound almost like a copout on my part to point the finger at the unseen like that. I am not one to blame another for my screwups but I can't ignore what has happened and still does. It reminds me of a book I read once long ago. Where demons atached themselves to people but people couldn't tell they were their. Each one represented a different sin or mistake and they would cause the people to faulter in such departments. Interesting book.

The questions for us are...

• What is the difference or line between a strong addiction and an overpowered will?
• How does the addiction move you without your decision? (Is it simply habit?)
• Where do you draw the line between the sounds of night and the wisperings of those unknown?
• How can you tell the difference between a clear voice in the open air from a trick of the mind?
• Can you ignore the literal healing hand on your shoulder that you can not see?
• How do you explain the you in your head that speaks to you when you don't expect? (Not talking about your concience.)

...and why would we distningish our faith as real without (available) tangible proof and then disregard these possibilities which are already a documented part of our faith? (All be it an unspoken part and not up-beat.)

What might this mean? Nothing. Or maybe something. With so much "maybe" and so little "definatly" it is hard to make a general statement on it. So, this is just my ramblings on the topic which peaked my interest and a time of sharing.