Okay, I've been known to find things on the internet; things I shouldn't find. To the degree that, if you are trying to imagine what I could mean, you might very well be right. In fact, the spectrum implied is so broad that you probably are. While no exact details are to be provided, this is a confession, brought on in part by a short conversation recently held. While many of the places I have visited I no longer return to, I still found myself wandering where I shouldn't. So in that light I am handing over my internet; forfeiting it.
In years past and still today, I've been nestled deep in the internet; pressing into its recesses for all manner of things. In other words, I've been the guy you go to if you wanted to find things that shouldn't be found. Even in those darker times I felt the injustice of it pressing down on me. I ignored it then, only dealing with what I chose to deal with. "Oh it's enough that I'm trying to correct my life in terms of X so Y and Z will just have to wait till later.", I would say in an attempt to justify it. Songs, shows, movies, programs, or whatever; it would be mine if I wanted it while employing the above excuse.
So over the years I had put my digital fingers on countless things, very few of which I have today. These days I pay for programs I use and I generally pay for my music services (Napster, etc), but I've been watching movies and cartoons online and while I can see the legal loopholes that exist, their are no moral loop-holes to speak of, only condemnation. For this reason it has to go; as Christ has said, "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell,".
He is correct, it is sinful and in all reality sin is lawbreaking. What we don't often realize is that all these broken laws are driven by desire for personal gain; be it money, fame, respect, power, influence, items, satisfaction, or anything else. So after many years of searching the depths it is time to put up my hands and let it go. I will always have it for emergencies, but it is guarded by someone trust worthy. I will always have it at work as well, but at least I am limited there in several ways. So, while I have a handful of movies downloaded (from over the weekend) I aim to make them the last. If I want any from here I'll be paying for them in some fashion, either renting or buying.
I said once before in a poetic rebuttal to an atheist concerning misuse of the internet, "Ah, the internet, a very large two sided sword. Wield her well, children of the keystroke." My own words ring both true and bitter, but it is better I lose my internet then my eye; better the internet than my soul or yours. It is true that we all have sinned and make mistakes, but the quality of a persons faith is reflected in their passion for God and willingness to repent; it's important to remember that.
*No this is not my New Years resolution.