July 18th

Well, what can I say about today... I'll say that this experiance is like NOTHING I have had before. This, though physicaly tiring already, is most certainly what I needed...Praise God. My legs, shoulders, feet, and boney butt are aching but it is wonderfull here. Aside from fears of traveling overseas I am all about a missions trip in the future. If this is just a taste of what He can do with me, and I believe it is, I (am after some rest) will be itching for more. Though it is not for everyone I wish everyone could share this with me. I hope if you haven't that you consider a Christian Camp Counseling position. I didn't think it was for me I mean...being all...social and leadery. But here I am under His power helping to lead keep safe these 33 children for the one I love the most. It does get complexe at times and I have moments of obvious newness but overall I think that this fits somehow. Anyway enough about me.

Today I spoke with several campers who have become quite open and fond of me already. Children with real needs and struggles and often...no guidance or help. The large girl is one of these. She puts me in an awkward position. She will focus her intense needs on one or two people and I am apparently one of them. I want to help and be their but she focuses her feelings in a way that I wouldn't/won't reciprocate. Forcing me to be standoffish or hurt her seemingly fragile state. So I am walking a very fine line and being very careful with my reactions and statements. Aside from that our cabin was rated as F- upon inspection. We were the worst of 8. We have taken hikes, worshiped, and played group games to build trust, openness, and acceptance with one another. Also, the campers saw me as another camper (status wise not literally) so today was a series of short backsteps to remove such misconceptions. If this isn't enough I have been asked to teach Flash for a day. Though this sounds like old news it isn't. Yesterday and Saturday I was to "help" the other counselors teach. This is big news as I was not ready to teach Flash. All my lessons were in other programs. God stepped in (as if He had ever stepped out) and in 10 minutes I had a lesson layout ready.

Lastly, my counselor initiation ended in an A+.