Lessons in Humility (#071)

I am thankful for the lesson as it was timely and appropriate.

As my bible study approaches its next incarnation without a defined leader or direction I saw it as an opportunity to step into the role and bolster the group for a new direction. Revelations. The group had already been headed in this direction but had stalled out due to the overwhelming nature of revelations. It seemed like all that was needed was someone to walk the group forward. I don't have a ton of background in the book but I felt confident that God would guide as necessary. So over a weeks time I realy assimilated the situation in my mind. It seemed exciting and fun as well as scary.

On my way to the group meeting that night to make the proposition I was struck by a moment of revelation (pun intended), not particulalrly new news, but still. The idea of all the people around me on the highway being essentially equal. Not the same but not inherently greater than the next. Now, as I said, this isn't news to most of us, but sometimes when God wants to get a point across He will make a thought brand new in your head even though you've had the thought scores of times before. I took it to heart and for a brief moment thought it had to do with the coming evening.

That night as I found it hard to step up in both word and confidence I was also at odds with the direction the group was heading, away from my idea and interests once again. I could have pressed the issue but didn't. Something seemed wrong, but I couldn't really figure it out while I clashed spiritually with members of the group. Eventually the group decided on a basic Revelations bible study which, in all honesty will still do the group good.

As we went over the first lesson in the book it became apparent that I had yet again gotten off course even though I was trying to move in a good direction. To put it bluntly, I was so interested nd excited in the in-depth study side that I had lost track of the group and what God seemed to intend for it. Yet another reminder that my plans, no matter how well devised or intended, are quite lacking in comparisson to His. Thankfully, the matter was settled between Him and I only so I did not embarass myself further.

In the end I was thankful for having been scolded so gently and I tryed to take it all in. Not too long ago I had said that I would try things and if it was not to be He would guide me away from them, so He has. Yet again, gently blocking and nudging me along. I'd like to say that a lesson was learned and that I won't quickly lose sight of His intentions again, but only He knows how many times I'll have to smack into this wall before I really learn. Heres to hope though.