A pound of feathers

So this little mini-sermon that I have to have ready for next Thursday is on John 6: 1-13, the feeding of the five thousand. I'm excited for the opportunity and scared because I've never done it before. I haven't spent much time on it yet, which is not good as time is flying by now.

So I was going to have someone read it and then, for the sake of sinking it in and making it approachable, I was going to say it in normal talk... "So Jesus and the disciples are roaming around the land near the sea of Galilee and Jesus is healing the sick as they go. Everywhere they went people gathered around and followed them around because they had heard or seen Him healing the sick. They took a break and went up on the mountain to rest and eat together. However, the crowd didn't come prepared. So they had thousands of people sitting with them that had no food. They themselves could only scrownge together two fish and five loafs of bread. Not nearly enough to feed everyone.

So Jesus says to the disciples, "What are we going to do?". One disciple takes stock of all the people as best as he could and figures that they need 3/4 of a years salary to feed the people. Money which is simply not available. Another disciple comes across the 2 fish and 5 bread loafs. And though it is very little, he offers it to Jesus. At this point it really doesn't seem like they understand that God cannot be limited by resources. Thanksfully our ability to understand God does not actually limit what God can do and so Jesus takes the bread and the fish and gives thanks for the situation. Maybe for the resources, maybe for the lesson to be learned, or maybe just for the chance to have one more moment where God could touch the hearts of these people. To be honest I'm not sure. Jesus then distributes the food out to the thousands of people and manages to have enough left over to fill seveal baskets and thats a quick overview of this story, but what does the story mean? What's the point? (Pause)"

Then I was going to maybe ask a few questions to see what they think and hopefully get their attention a bit more. After this small period I was going to just talk about what I think is hidden in this story... "Now I look at this story and I see all kinds of things going on between many characters and I'd like to talk about a few of them. I see different types of people dealing with the situation in their own ways, but in all of these I see people interacting with God. They aren't doing it physically, but spiritualy and for the most part they don't seem to be aware. What I see is a large group of people who are traveling after God, seeking God. They are sitting there waiting to be fed both physicaly and spiritualy, because we need nurishment in both of those aspects if we are going to grow up healthy. I see a problem arise, one which God has under control, but one that nobody else feels capable of controling. Because of this lack of control they all tried to do what they could themselves to solve the problem. (I can't blame them, it would be like me haveing a tictac and I'm supposed to somehow feed you all, I'd have no clue. I'd feel the need to try as well.) One of the disciples was good with numbers so he did the math, realizing that financialy their was no way to solve the problem. Another went scavaging and found a little bit of food. He didn't throw up his hands in defeat because of the odds, but he didn't seem to have complete trust that Jesus, that God, would solve the problem either. Jesus is standing there watching these guys, His own disciples, scurry around trying to solve the problem or in some cases like the numbers guy, basically give up.

So, these guys do what little they can and then look to Jesus to bail the group out of trouble. At some point here they begin to realize that they are unable to handle this problem. So they give it to God, they give it to the Son. They didn't do this because it was the smart move did they? (Pause) They didn't do this because God can do anything, they did it because they bombed big time. Well, honestly we all would have bombed with this so what's the big deal? (Pause) The big deal is that God can handle things that are past our ability. Had they immediatly turned to Him and said, "I got nothin, Jesus. Will you fix this?" Would Jesus have said no to them or been angry at them? (Pause) I don't think so, because that learning to lean on or depend on God in our lives is something we are supposed to do and just as the disciples proved, it is a learning process. How and when, even why.

Anyway, after finaly turning to Jesus the solution comes into play. A miracle! Something that is for and from God alone. Jesus takes 9 pounds of food, rips it all up, and somehow comes out with a warehouse of food for the people. He feeds everyone that day with bread and fish in the form of a miracle, but He also fed the hearts and spirits of those who made the effor to travel with Him and watch Him despite what demands life had plced on them that day. Because of their meager efforts they were witness to not only God in the flesh but also an irrefutable miracle. Thanks to those people and this story we are now witness to this miracle also. Today we read about taking a little, giving it to God, and relying on Him to finish the job. Today we learn that mistakes and failure and trials aside God is loving and able."

I think this is bordering on too much for many of them to really take in, but I don't want to dumb it down to the point of making it the same old story they always hear and with almost no past experiance I find this comfortable middle is very hard to find. Anyway, after all that and a few more questions I was going to make a couple statements about God being capable in all things and how we should offer up what we can but rely on Him. Maybe even something about being tested and our reactions to the tests, but like I said I don't want to overdue it. I also know my time is limited so that will be a ticking clock in the back of my head, keeping me from getting longwinded.

(Un)Certain Times

Well by my frayed nerves I think it is a week before camp. This year I have a lot of responsibilities as a counselor and I am excited deep down. Unfortunately, I'm also quite scared deep down though maybe not for the obvious reasons. You'd think I'm scared because of the new trials and responsibilities to be faced in the coming week. You'd think I was just worried about speaking in front of people day after day. You'd think I'd just be scared of failure along these lines, and in truth I am a bit, but a new worry crests the horizon.

Upon meeting recent challenges and recent blessings I find myself fulfilled. Something I did not expect to be. Something I did not think was coming. When I began this journey some years back, I had a feeling deep down with the fears that what I wanted was an internet counseling and evangelical ministry. At the time I was not capable and had no idea of how to go about this and so it failed and floundered. I ended up branching out in general and then suddenly opportunity arrives. So I have been blessed with what I asked for. Counseling and ministering to the masses online. It is not in the form I had expected it to take and I don't know just how useful it has been in comparison to what I had dreamt, but none the less it has come.

Now I am left with a wonderful feeling, that I don't know how to...um...feel about. The question, what lies ahead? Does He have a plan in mind? Is He going to further my life in this direction? Is this just a pit stop to something greater? Is this just a small gift to me before I end up far from a ministry that I would want? How hard would I fight against such a change, if at all? Am I open to such a frightening calling? Only He knows I suppose and I am so very pleased with what He has done that I will likely take to His calling faster and faster as the days pass, I would hope.

Knowing my heart, I would hope He intends to push to the horizon. Infact with all this uncertainty I am quite certain this is not the end for me.

Rainfall Ringmaster

I was bored at work today and, to be honest, avoiding the things I need to do. Sooo much to do. I find myself moved by lyrics so often. Though I love most forms of music certain genres move me more then most. Even though it has nothing to do with the poem I was moved to write from listening to a few albums of Delerium. Many beautiful songs.

___

We come from every direction;
gathering to the show.
A calling of the winds;
a longing of the soul.

Ready the lights;
open your eyes.
Seated in a cacophony;
ears burn with hope.

No show is made;
for all to marvel.
No music roars;
to sway the crowd.

The ringmaster smiles;
a look of joy firmly planted.
Rainfall is His show;
water falling under canopy.

The crowd once startled;
now bursting with excitement.
This cleansing rain;
has washed death away.

The ringmaster nods;
the rainfall quiets.
It is time to live;
as never before.