Searching the Light

Morning all, no crazy conversation here today; just an update and a small reflection. I finally got to see the opening day of our new service and I have to say, I am not all that pleased. Yea, I know, that isn't what I expected to say either, but nothing seemed to go right. Technical problems, musical problems, flow problems, and most of all their was no detectable movement of the Holy Spirit. The songs were the same ones that brought me tears the two weeks prior, but this week hardly moved me. I looked around and saw faces that were shall-we-say, uninspired. I too contributed to that mess, and I'm none-to-pleased about that fact.

So as I thought and talked about the rough morning, one worked so hard for and yet not seen to blossom, the mistake became very clear. One that stung a bit as I (and everyone else) knew better than to make the mistake our own. Truth is it's not about "our service", it's about worshiping Him. It's not about success or failure, but about following His direction with a proper heart. It's not about what we hope for, it's about trusting and hoping in Him for what He wants. Even though we started out with this understanding, the past few weeks have been so intense and hectic we got lost. We need to go back now, to the heart of worship ourselves. Sure the details need addressed, but not at the cost we are paying. So while I intend on continuing my contribution toward the service (and the youth), I am not honestly as concerned about it. What good will that do anyway; to be distraught over this.

A long time ago I told one of the youth involved, "...either God will use this for His glory or He will tear it down...all we can do is try and let Him do what needs done." It is as true now as it was then I suppose, but I did (at some point) find myself overly complicating that. Feeling stressed that it might not work out right away, or possibly ever. Funny because I'm okay with it not working, but I find myself not being okay when it comes to the details I think I can affect.