Rolling Initiative

Hello everybody! Just thought I'd stop in and share a few things before bed, an early one at that.

First off I wanted to say how excited I am for the coming weeks. Spring is on its way and with it comes an energy of a different kind. Theirs something special about Spring and how it makes me feel. I realize that it is the season of new life and perhaps that's all the more their is to the phemomenon. The idea that seeing, hearing, and smelling what is regenerating in this season is enough to lift up and regenerate a person. Or at least inspire one to feel good. In any case it is hard to not feel good, to feel energetic and motivated, this time of year. Today was one of the first of 2006 that I gleamed such an energy from my surroundings. It was better than caffeen and I look forward to a few more in the near future. If you are the same way I hope you can remember to take time and enjoy it as well.

Second, this past weekend and the week prior I had been spending time trying to figure out where God wants me. What am I to do? Where does it need to be done? Who does it involve? I'm not usually so impatient with matters so large, but on this I am. Theirs no denying it. So it had come down to a realization that some time ago, over the past 4-6 years actually, I had been inspired to venture forth many times and in many ways. Most of which were thoughts and ideas that came and seemed...well, inspired. Others, a precious few, were calls from outside myself most of which I am shamed to say I ended up letting pass me by. Anyway I, in my impatients, began today writing a list of everything I was inspired to do in the past that I didn't do. I even began breaking down the forms which some of the ventures could take and steps needed to accomplish other ventures. Some things I know are now a bit useless and others simply foolish, but many are valid and I am excited by the prospect of having a direction to move into. This time the trick of it will be to not pull back. To not tell myself it isn't worth it. To not get frustrated and quit.

In a side note (that is surprisingly on topic) I did some reading tonight in the new Erwin McMannus book. I have to thank and praise God for the mysterious ways He gets the job done. Looking at this books title, after reading the first two, was like staring at an oncoming titlewave and just knowing that when it hits their will be no holding back on it's part. And so it spoke to me tonight more then the previous nights in a chapter aptly named "Initiative". I so wish to sumarize it here so you can know what it meant to me, but it is too long and none to easy to say.

To put it very simply, it said how we have trained ourselves to look and change inward and not so much outward. How we are good at recognizing problems but bad at taking on these tasks. It mentions how even the highly accomplished Christian author was at one time an observer. Afraid to get too involved. Afraid to step up to the challenges before him. It spoke of how we can sometimes find ourselves waiting, listening in the silence for a direction while all around us are needs or when we have fine ideas already brewing in our heads. And how we often think (or perhaps use as an excuse) our ideas are not God's will because we weren't given such direction in visions or dreams. We tend to second guess ourselves and consequently Him by putting forth the notion that we can manage to mess up His plans. A folly on our part. Certainly one on mine.

Tonight I'm getting some much needed extra hours of sleep and rain or shine tommorrow I'll be getting into some kind of trouble. No doubt, I'm looking forward to it.