Sir-Lists-Alot

Anybody out there like lists? I like lists. Not that I stick to them all the time. Sometimes I even write them and then lose them but when I don't they are very usefull.

It's time to write a list again. With so much to do (half of which have looming deadlines) I feel the need to organize a bit. Should help me get to the important stuff faster. At the very least it will calm me down and show me what needs done.

Personal:

1. Homework (lessons 9-16)
2. Required Reading (est. 200 pages left)
3. Leadership book
4. Get back in shape =P

On Hold:

1. Create picture archive
2. Research and organize Web info
3. Create page to present collected info
4. Finish Zim sound board
5. Fix bathroom towel bar
6. Write to Pam
7. Start learning the guitar (again)

Camping Prep-list:

1. Gear (enough clothes, walky talkies, flashlight, inhaler, pocket knife, compass, lighter, etc...)
2. Fun gear (books, audio stuffs, batteries, junkfood, jumprope, etc...)
3. Prepared mindset (info on me, questions for them, how to handle various group problems, etc...)
4. Create interesting program scinerios for the campers in PPT, HTML, FLA?, etc...)
5. Background checks + Paperwork
6. 3 bottles of pepto and a box of imodium.

Questions for campers: (ice breakers and opening up comunication)

1. Anyone here new? I am...
2. Anyone here have much technical background? How so? I...
3. Names? Nicknames? Mine are...
4. What kinds of things do you like to do in your spare time? I...movies...games...music...
5. Is their anything you were expecting when you came here? Programs...vacation...friends...? I...
6. What about school? Any ideas about where to go after it's over? I didn't but...ITT...Trinity...
7. Faith related question to gauge group...
8. Anything you want to know about me?
9. Anything I need to be aware of?
10. If anyone has trouble while your here I will be here...
11. Group prayers at night and of course at eats.

Personal Info Blurb For Introductions: (rough)

I am 26 and I work fulltime in an engineering-consultant firm along the river in Harrisburg. I started out in '99 as a CAD technitian and migrated to different versions of CAD software, publishing and graphics, web design and database functions, web animation, and sparaticaly in there were a few bouts with presentations in power point. So I have a little knowledge in a lot of software. I suppose that just makes me dangerous, but I they keep paying me so it apparently doesn't matter. On my own time I used to play lots of online games and watch a lot of movies, but recently have been very busy with homework and stuff. As far as sports go I grew up skiing and playing volleyball, but I have taken up golf in the past few months. I am horrible at baseball, football, and basketball. I am a dog person and I have been known to listen to music 16 out of 24 hours in a day. My faith is of the utmost importance to me and has invaded the majority of my life in the past few years. Besides all that I am happy to be here and I hope we all have a good week here.

If anyone has ideas or something that might be usefull in preperation just let me know. I am uber-excited right now but their are still 2 weeks to go. Right now I'm just trying to compose myself a bit and trying to figure out (keeping in mind the age of the campers) how strong of a leadership role I need to step into. Starting off to demanding is better than not but still not good. It may not be an issue but I like to think ahead a bit. I guess I'll have to gauge it as it comes along with everything else.

Drive By Pop Quiz

“How would you describe Jesus in 30 seconds?”

That is what the sign in front of the church reads. You know that sign that is up in front of every church that changes from time to time. Reaching out in semi-creative ways to those who drive by and are paying attention. This one is one of the ones that I enjoy. They make you think, if you're interested in the topic, about how you would handle a situation and or calling. So I started to do it in my head on the way home from visiting family who underwent surgery as posted earlier. (They are doing well.) I was way over the time limit when I finished and though I thought the results were pretty good I couldn't help but think, "Timing is important." I mean that in a conversation where that might be applicable many times their won't be 5 minutes to stumble through an explanation like I did. And to be honest, this is a very good question to have an answer in waiting should the need arise. So I am sitting down to type it out and see if it can be done quickly but with enough depth to matter. I love these mental workouts. I am sure their are many ways to go about this but I seperated the question into two variations for some reason that escapes me now.

Jesus was; (30 seconds)

The only son of God, a Jewish carpenter born of a virgins womb who lead a sinless life among a sinful people. He spent his life in prayer, teaching, and performing miracles. He lead others to God by living rightly and instructing those who would listen. He sacrificed His life on the cross both to fulfill Gods prophecies and to become a door to salvation which we could not have achieved on our own. He rose from the dead and ascended into Heaven where he waits to this day until the time comes again when He will return for believers.

Jesus is; (30 Seconds)

The only route to salvation that we have and the only effective way we have of living rightly day to day with the help of the Holy Spirit. Jesus is a man who lived 2000 years ago and still lives today. He is the son of God who was the perfect example of how to live in love, hope, and faith. He founded the Christian faith and serves as the only road to salvation for humanity. He sacrificed Himself as was prophesized to become atonement for the sins and sinful nature of man. Because of Him we are not lost to the dark forces.

If you have one you'd like to share feel free, this is just what I came up with.

Warmup Mission

So I am not the adventurer as I would sometimes like to imagine. So I get stomach issues at the slightest mention of traveling to (or for) the unknown. So...

...I guess it was time to force the issue. I got a call today from the King. He sent a messenger whose name is Steve to ask if I would like to get my feet wet in simple missions. Honestly I have denied such offers in the past as it goes against my nature. The difference this time is substancial in that it was laid out in such a way that I would have been saying no out of stubborness instead of disinterest or fear. (Smart move Lord) I suppose to many it wouldn't even seem like "mission" work but to me and my fragile mindset this is a big step outside of my box. What is this wild and crazy mission I will be going on? Just a simple camp counselor for a week outside of Gettysburg. From what I hear it is a total of 32 kids from the ages of 12-16. It is a christian camp but the focus or at least overtone for the week will be technology and software. I am super excited right now as I think this is a wonderful opporotunity for me and in truth is right up my alley.

On one hand, I have no experiance (at all) with teaching kids software or managing groups of early teens. I do have some experiance teaching, teaching software, and managing people on a very small scale. So I am worried that I will be completely lost more often than not. I am the type of person who enjoys small groups of relatively mature people weather in lead roles or not. So I can't really imagine how this is going to go down. On the other hand, I am viewing this as a small, but effective, step in moving forward in this walk. I mean really, even if it goes badly I will walk away having learned a huge lesson and no I do not expect it to go more wrong than right. If things go even a little well I will be more apt to travel and undertake "real" missions later.

The funny part is all the subtlties that didn't happen before in offers to take part in such things. I mean the fact that it is conserning technical matters but still grounded in Christ. Also, the idea that this is a counseling position, in title if not in reality, which is what I have plans to achieve at school. One thing I do realize is that this is a setup from Him and I need to step up to bat finaly. So from 17-23 of July I will be AFK but will most likely have a ton to Blog when I return.

Did I mention I have no idea what I'm doing? O_o If it weren't for trust in Him to see this through I'd never do it.

Apologetics

What?!?! Speak english man!!!

Apologetic(s);
1. The branch of theology that is concerned with defending or proving the truth of Christian doctrines.
2. Formal argumentation in defense of something, such as a position or system.
3. Serving as or containing a formal justification or defense: an apologetic treatise on church doctrine.

Something that interests me in theory if not principal but what a chore to find helpful info on. Before school started I did my own research on the matter and was left wanting for something that was more, for lack of a better word, professional. Now with school I am realizing that their is no apparent middle ground in the topic. By that I mean it goes from the casualy inept straight to the guys whose brains are so big they are spilling out of their heads. On one side we have people, I suppose like myself, who want to try and understand it but are stumbling around and on the other side are the scholarly people who speak as if it is written in Latin. I am thinking that part of the problem lies in the person I am reading as apposed to the topic. He is writing as if I am already on his level but I am not. Babysteps please. :/ Anyway I wanted to share some of the nuttiness with you quickly.

"The result? His "last problem" is the still unsolved mathematical puzzel, Prove or disprove that if n is greater than 2, there are no numbers, a, b, c such that an+bn=cn."
-Where is history going? By John Warwick Montgomery

Excuse me, is this algebra or theology? Triganomatry or biblical studies. Please tell me it isn't geomatry cause it took me three tries to get past that one. Sheesh. Needless to say I simply kept reading after I stopped laughing. The rest of the book is like that but without the math. Instead it uses large words that can be said just as well in laymans terms and I can't wait to get through it. Maybe it will make more sence as time goes on but right now, especially as it doesn't hold bearing on the class, I just want to finish it.

The other book, "Faith founded on Fact By John Warwick Montgomery" is equally as difficult. The title alone makes me cringe, but it's what's in the book that is so frustrating. Yet not without reward. The book and the author focus on evidencial apologetics above others seemingly because evidence is as close to true proof in the eyes of a non-believer as one can get. As such it is deamed of greater importants than other forms of apologetics which are more to my liking. My opinion, their is little place for soemone whose interest is to remove the need for faith. Which is not to say I don't want others saved, but I don't want what Jesus taught to be lost by scholarly brutes and their evedences. We were not handed proof for a reason, like it or not. Do I know the reason? Not really, but would a perfect God have removed all options save for faith if it were not the way? Would Jesus have performed miracles on people who would pass and disappear as apposed to a mountain or a river or something that would last if he wanted us to believe by proof? Seems to me that if we had the proof these men of evidential apologetics want then the world would be quick to change it's tone, but would it be right? On the other hand, as always, I do think we could use a hand in being prepared with confrontations and conversations with non-believers. We should be able to speak with confidence and an ability to refute with reason, logic, and heart the objections of those we speak with. At least to some degree. Maybe you don't agree, but I think it is improper to call a belief formed of facts, faith as it requires little or none. It is then simply belief.

Group Hug...

So tonight, after a much needed nap, I went over to Moms house. Both her and my grandfather are getting surgery tomorrow and they asked some people from church to come by and pray for them. Group prayers like these are all too few IMO, though perhaps I am not one to talk as this was the first I ever attended. Anyway, I realized that this was entirely for the purpose of prayer and fellowship so I tried to be somewhat prepared. Im my mind I had thought up several, well spoken, things to say or pray. Not that I like the idea of pre-packaged prayers all that much, but it would be better to have an idea then and be more confident than the times back when I would not plan and be to afraid to try at all. So I got there and the room was full of wonderfull people from the Chambershill United Methodist. I said hi and when the last couple showed up we formed a circle around Mom. Everyone laid a hand on her and someone started the praying. I must say it is something else to be standing next to people who have been built up in their prayer lives. Some of these people are prayer warriors who had obviously been through the gauntlet, so to speak, a few times. I waited my turn which ended up being last. I wasn't sure I was going at all as they had covered much of what I had planned. Still, I added my two cents not quiet as I had planned which is not to say that it was not good and someone closed. In text it is hard to describe such an event. It is simply to say that the room was filled with more than people. I hope you know that feeling.

I think they thought I came cause I was worried about them and I didn't have the heart to tell them otherwise. That and I didn't realy want the strange looks as they process the statement. Truth is I am not worried in the normal sence of "will it be ok" and "will it work out". Don't get me wrong I don't want anything bad to happen to my family or friends but when it does happen that doesn't mean it is out of control. It just means that it was always out of "our" control. I always picture it realted to teh opening of the simpsons cartoon show on FOX (if you''ve seen it). At one point their is a little girl in the passenger seat with what looks like a drivers wheel adn she is stearing the car, or so it seems. In the next scene the camera pulls back and reveals the real driver of the car. The little girl who is but 2-3 years old thinks she is driveing but isn't. We are the little girl in the car. The best she can hope for is to pay attention to the real driver to see figure out which way she should turn her wheel too.

No, I came because I believe in prayer and I know that a large part of my families do as well. Though I admittedly still strugle with the very concept/nature of intercessory prayer with God I realize it works. It has effected me and those around me over the years in such a postitive, if not always easy to see, way that I can't help but give thanks for the chance to continue. Unfortunatly it is, as stated earlier, very hard to explain in terms of sentences without loosing the deeply moving feeling of such communion. It is also to simple to say that "it works", but I am not sure what the midle ground is right now so I'll stop.

At any rate, I am better for the experiance and I am glad to see the support that they have from everyone. It is good to see that, in people who are belivers at least, their is often a sence of peace over matters like this to varying degrees. Plus I got dinner, a bag of golfballs, and a slick new hat. Weeeeeeeeeeee!

"Misinterperate? Y/N:"

I like symbolism so much that I have a fair sized collection of pictures and scans that I keep. I have always had an eye for things that took a different path to get to the same place like symbols. For the purpose of this post though it relates to Christian symbols and their meanings. On Thursday I went out to my car and noticed the silver fish on the trunk was falling off. The silver fish is often used by Christians and evolutionists. Its use is so wide spread I would be surprised if you haven't seen them (at least in America). Anyway, it was done for so I pulled it off and after cleaning the stickiness off that night with WD-40 (WD-40 is the "all-purpose" liquid equivalent to duct-tape) went to get a new one. Now their are many types like ones with crosses in them, ones with Jesus in them, ones with Greek letters in them, and plain ones in gold or silver to name a few. I always go with the plain silver. When I got home and went to put it on I realized I had cleaned the car so well that I couldn't remember which direction it was supposed to swim. Of course the packaging was useless so I put it on facing right. The next day I was thinking back to some research I had previously done on the symbol itself and got a bit concerned over what I had remembered.

The story goes like this, some people attribute the direction of the fish to mean different things. Left (for whatever reason) is the traditional Christian version while right (in some circles) is supposed to be interperated as a Satanic version. Most if not all the sources that say the later are Atheist, but some are actually Christians. That was all I could remember at the time so I re-researched it and found no true reason for that belief. Even the Christians who said such were unfounded. On the other hand I think to myself, "Should I really be putting that symbol out anyway? I mean if I'm gonna be a little concerned why not follow it through." Many symbols used in the church as well as dates are known to have had pagan (which is to say Satanic) origins and unfortunatly the fish is one of these. It has been said that the church has overtaken pagan holidays and symbols in an attempt to overtake the pagan beliefs themselves. So did it work? Well, such holidays and symbols are predominantly if not entirely considered Christian related now so I guess so. Still, I don't like the idea that someone with a warped view of the faith or historic knowledge of the symbol applying their warpedness to me for sporting it. I believe the vast majoirty of believers and non-believers don't have a clue as to the origins of our symbols and holidays. (Of course, I tend to not give people enough credit) Which was the point of overtaking them in the first place. I realize trinkets are just that, but as long as your beliefs are showing through your living and not just your necklace what is wrong with having them? Still, something isn't sitting right with the idea of leaving it on the car now. Would I feel better if I put a new one on going the rigth way? Better yes, but I'm not sure if it would do. What is wrong with having a trinket that "used" to mean something else when it means something completely different now. What's more important, origins or current intent/purpose? If your faith is the same as my faith then the answer would seem clear.

Confused about the possible historical links to pagan fish symbols? I doubt I can summarize things correctly as the sources are not as legitimate or as extensive as I'd like. For what it's worth in many ancient (seemingly long gone) cultures and faiths the symbol applied itself to fish, moon, and womb. All of which are symbols of the Goddess and fertility which were well knonw pagan religious focuses all to popular in biblical times. We are told as Christians that under Roman persectution the early believers used the symbol as a sort of code word or sign. One person would make half the symbol in the ground and another believer would finish the other arc. When done in the market place in a city or village (a common hub of city activity) it might have gone unnoticed by non-belivers as fish then was equally popular then as today if not more so. The symbol would not have stood out especially if covered upon completion.

I'll just give up on the fish and get one that says "Jesus" without the fish. Misinterperate that!

Gamers Thoughts

The new BF2 game is out! How excited am I! Not that excited actually...
Gaming in my life has been as consistant as anything. When I was a kid it was (in order)

Sega Master System
Nintendo
Turbographics 16
Sega Genesis
Super Nintendo
Playstation
and then finally
PC platform games

Yet for some reason it is much less important to me now. A non-gamer might say " You're groing up " and a gamer might say " Bl@5ph3m3R!!1! ", but I just think that I don't need the escape the way I used to. IMO, My life never seemed to be bad for more than a few moments here or there, but I always relied on games and comics to get away and live a life I would want and didn't think I could have. Something that cannot be achieved so easily in the real world as hitting the on or reset button. Now though, life is so different that I am ok without it. I still enjoy it and play from week to week but it is not the obsession that it once was. For instance I once relied on it so much that I would spend weeks on end imersed in it a game up to 60 hours a week. That barely leaves time to eat, sleep, and work. Now I would be ok if it disappeared entirely. I wondered to myself, "why?" and the answer (or an answer) came. In a game like DnD a person can do anything they want but normaly will pick and develope a character that is either an interpretation of themselves or an interpretation of who they want to be. I am no different in this way I have created and developed several characters based on a combination of who I am and what I want. Most of them were Lawfull-Good Clerics of one sort or another with focuses in Healing and either Protection, Knowledge, War, or Good. My clerics tend to value traits of Wisdom and Charisma over Inteligence and Stength. Mediator, protector, and healer in purpose if not always carried out properly. (Nobody mention the gem incident. :wink:) At times towards the end of my DnD career I found myself, in character of course, speaking/acting out in what was an effort of evangelism. IMO, this was a manifestation of my own transformation over that timespan and if I still played I would probaby be known there as the nice guy and religious zealot at this point. The point I keep wandering from is that an important focus shift has taken place and because of it the life I found in-game is now, at least in a sence, very real and very reachable in reality. Life can and is as much a mystery and an adventure as I had hoped for in the way I had hoped for. I can be, in a sence, the cleric who roams the land bumping into problems and needs. Granting healing, protection, and knowledge from the God I serve. Though I don't get to carry a bow and mace the dangers and mysteries will be more and more real as I get closer and closer to them. As will be a life of effectiveness and purpose.

No doubt I love the feel of making my way accross a battlefield with the guys around me. Watching each others back and working in unison (a rarety but still). Heading to a chocke point or a control point. Or equally rewarding, piloting a blackhawk into enemy territory and having the guys on either side with gattling guns tearing into the enemy while the rest of the guys roll into position with Abrams tanks and Bradleys. That kind of gaming is still appealing to me but only when the group is together and working with each other. Which is why I got BF2 yesterday. I had time to play one round with Astro_Fiend and for a few moments we actually found each other on the battlefield. As the enemy would flank me he would intercept and likewise as we moved in to the control points. Sweet.

It will be nice to have on Friday night game night when all the guys can get on.

Study Group Update

So last night was a small group night and it was a good one. Good in the sence that the topic was one I had almost no background on and that the side conversations were equally as usefull. Also, the earlier post I had had about being confused about my place in the group is settling down properly.

The groups topic revolved around the Essenens in Qumran who wrote the dead sea scrolls and their belief system comparable to christianity. I had heard of course of the Dead Sea Scrolls and even the name Qumran before but I had never heard of these people. I was surprised to hear that their were anything close to pre-christians before the times of Jesus. Now to be honest I have had no success researching the topic on my own yet. Everyplace I get info from is different from the next in such a way that I am not capable of or confident to make a statement on who they were. The man on the video we watched depicted them as a jewish sect that broke off from the world on account of persecution over their beliefs as well as to seperate from corrutptive influences. According to him they were more capable of understanding the nature of the coming savior (as apposed to the traditional Jewish view). Though some argue over it (as some always will) the dead sea scrolls were themselves found in a cave nearby Qumran of which a large percentage of our scripture (and its historical validation) has come. These people had removed themselves from traditional and corrupt society influences both religious and not. I'd like to find more on them but it is of little consequence right now and, as stated earlier, not easy to discern truth from fiction regarding them.

As for the side topics I'll just mention one for now. Because of the Essenes cutting themselves off from the world we were asked if it was a smart move or not? I think it was a smart move if only at first. The world was as corrupt then as it is now and to get clean and stay clear one may opt to seperate from it all. On the other hand I don't think it was a great idea that they remained away from the world indefinatly (at least those in Qumran). Those that were prepared should have ventured out and gathered those interested. I realize that is a christian view (one I am just begining to get acquainted with) and not necessarily a jewish view but still it seems like the right thing to do. Anyway, to get back on topic, the idea of things that we fail to seperate from and the things that are accepted by us because of those we are around came up. Things like pornography, swearing, alcohol and other drugs, partying, etc. Personaly, I have had many such battles and it seems have many to go but I appreciate the people in this group as they give me a better form of reference than what I get from everyday life. So now, since other fights are going well, I'm going to ask the Spirit if He'll help me curb this foul mouth of mine. It's not so bad that I use it everywhere but I have developed a tendancy between friends and co-workers to drop the four letter words all to casually. This has been a slow progression over 15 years but none the less must be stopped. It is among other things a poor example on my part. The good thing is it will somewhat stack with another similar issue of laughing (or at least smiling) when topics come up that I should not. Unfortunatly in this area I actually have become so relaxed that the expressions are genuine. How embarrasing is that? Almost as embarrasing as getting scolded at work by another believer, which did happen last week. She was completely in the right to do so however and I appologized and thanked her for it. I of course didn't mean harm by chukling but the topic was improper and I was wrong. So why not combine the two, no swearing and no accepting a topic unworthy of my beliefs. It's going to be hard here at work as I am surrounded by friends who aren't trying to be so discerning. Feel free to pray for the missions sucess.

Another day...

Tonight was supposed to be a night to finish my homework. Instead I burnt my hand, fell asleep, did laundry, read some chapters, and now blogged.

"Swing and a miss!"

Still, it was a an eventful day and I learned a lot. Specifically some (re-)research about the LDS. (Later-Day Saints) A person at work mentioned recently that he is Mormon though his level of activity is unknown. For those of you who don't know it is essentially considered a "christian cult" for it's warped interperataion of scripture, divinity, and theology. Of all the "christian cults" it is one of the most blatent and yet few seem to be aware. I wasn't at first either. It was only after doing my research on the denominations of christianity that I realized they don't all have the same foundations. Which is sad and part of the reason I am fairly apposed to the concept of groups and denominations within the church. Though they all claim truth and the title they are not equal creations. The Mormonism movement however is more full of holes than the majority of mislead groups. The reason? Satan and the apposing wills of men. People creating "sound" doctrine from what they want to believe which has not been inspired or to serve their own purposes.

This group in particular, though far from alone, is a sheep in wolfs clothing. Claiming to the unwitting that they are a church of Gods design. Activly seeking and moving to the lost, but surrounded by half-truths and flat lies. The shame is their are strong points in the group that are currently weak points in other truly Chirst-rooted churches. Such good things are lost though when damage is being done by the corruption it is built on. From what I have gathered, the group has a tendancy to interperate the scripture so it fits what they want it to say. Because of this, and to no surprise, the groups theology crumbles apart like a stale cookie when put under scrutiny.

I don't mean to bash anyone, Mormon or not, but their is a right and a wrong here. It has been laid out by the divine, proven by heart and mind. It would be smart if, at some point in every christians walk, they lookd into matters like these. It doesn't hurt to be prepared.

Now, I don't expect to have to speak with him about it (though it wouldn't hurt), but when I least expect it these conversations come up at work and I would rather be ready to some small degree. Even if it goes badly I would rather have failed having been prepared then fail having not bothered with it. Below is a text file with collected information about Mormonism. It is at the moment incomplete as it only shows the more negative side, but that should be the concern if we are talking about and concerned with the souls of the lost.

Download (.rtf)

I've been bugged!

Its 1:20 here and I am just wrapping up some things. I was typing away and sitting before me was a little black beetle. A common summer bug at the appartment complex though I dont know its name. This ones name was Mr. Oops. Mr Oops was walking his way over the bottom of my monitor a few minutes ago and I was surprised to see him. Every year the LBBP (Little Black Beetle People) try to gain access to the appartment and every year I have to spray the windows with Raid to keep them from doing so.

Anyway, I said to him, "You're not supposed to be here!" And he just looked at me with a confused look. "Fine", I said and I went to get a piece of toilet paper. (You get my intentions.) When I got back I went to scoop him up and carry him off. I missed and now Mr. Oops is living in my keyboard. The way I figure it he could azt his size he could survive for almost a year on the crumbs and juice I have spilt in there over the years. That is assuming he can avoid the keys comming down as I'm typing. A sad story I know. But at least its a better story than, "There was a bug and I flushed it." O_o Poor Mr. Oops.

Clarity: I love insects in theory but not in practice. In other words, I like bugs and think they are cool in every way accept when they are real and within 5 feet of me. If one touches me I tend make girly screams. LOL. Not realy but almost.

Abram & Lot

What a messy relationship that was I thought. I was starting to ramble down an answer to a question and it just came out different than I thought the school might want so I had to re-write it. Still, I didn't want to delete it cause I like it so here are the answers that our Counselor helped me with.

The question on the sheet was:
Compare & contrast the personalities & spiritul characteristics of Abram & Lot.

Answer: Though both started out knee-deep in the human condition, Abram grew through trials into a spiritually mature man whose focus was God above all else. Lot, by contrast, did not make the right choices even after repeated failures. He couldn't see what Abram could. His eyes where of the world and as such only saw the world. Abram could see more with his spiritual eyes and as we know their is so much to see. Lot was also a tempermental and greedy man where as Abram was (or had become) a comprimising and giving man who would not sell his soul for a coin or a crown. Perhaps Lot was not a complete lose but by comparison or contrast they are hardly a personality or spiritual match regardless of their similar beginings.

Original Answer: Abram is water to Lots fire. Fire burns and consumes and leaves nothing behind. It lives only for its needs and moves in the direction of most abundant supply. Water by contrast moves where it should it adapts but doesn't change. When it comes into contact with something other than itself it can absorb and become diluted, but will always have the ability through hands not of its own to be purified. Even more so when fire is extinguished it is gone and leaves nothing but destruction. Water is renewed in its cycle it does not end. It may be stagnant or rushing by but it will one day evaporate or return to the earth to seemingly pass away but infact carry on the journey in another form. Such are the lives of sinner and saved.

Moreover on the same topic it is nice to spend time watching those of spiritual maturity, not perfection just maturity. It's nice to see someone else reaching for a bar set just as high as they can jump if they reach and strain. Which is what we should all be doing, reaching and straining. It is also interesting to spend time looking at the relationship these two shared. One, a man of God and striving for that purpose. The other, a man of this world and stiving for it. Both started out in the human condition and both know of God. Still, one turns away and the other toward. That is the everyday in our lives though, what is interesting is that Abram never seemed to lose his love and hope. You can say it is becasue Lot was like a son to him and I can't argue that as it was true. But perhaps it makes more sence and helps our journey to think in a more general way. I assume we have all met those we want a better life for. People who might be family, firends, or just someone we read/heard about. People we have tracked and traced while trying our best to shine of Gods glory in efforts to make a difference in where they will end up. Abram was tracking Lot. He took him in out of many possible reasons and from that point kept him close until Lot gave him no option. Even then Lot would have been lost to the wolfs had Abram not been moved to the cause of his salvation. Knowing that Lot lost everything to the sin he tracked but still holding him up when he is fallen and bringing him home when he is lost. Sounds like a comparison to me. (o_-) ( That was supposed to be a wink.) Galations 6:1-2

Anyway, I forgot my point. I guess I hope we all get that chance in life. For most people it will be their children as I'm sure my parents can attest, but it doesn't need to start or stop there. Ok, ok. Enough of that. Back to work.

Inspiration comes in bricks and bullets

Clartiy. An awesome mystery to those who know it doesn't belong to them and a fleeting fragrance in the breeze to those who think they have it. Their is a point in everyones life I suppose when they think it makes sence. When things come together or unravel into bite size pieces that we can swallow. When I look back I can remember not thinking that everything made sence as a whole but that everything on its own and in its time made sence. Issues of right and wrong, issues of man and nature, and issues of why and why not. I didn't know everything, and despite popular opinion never claimed to, but at the same time answers came redily and were no to often a surprise.

To get to the point a bit, I have had some clarity recently. What's the difference between coming to a state of understanding and having a moment of inspiration. To me it is the source from which the information and revelation comes from. Their is a very noticable difference between digging up answers by googling or reading an article verses sitting somwhere (not focusing on anything) and having the answer hit you like brick was thrown at your head. An even better sign of inspiration in my opinion is when you can have spent years considering a topic and become well versed in it, then one day out of nowhere comes a spark of revelation on the matter. Much like looking at your shinny new car in the driveway under a consistantly overcast sky and then (without your doing) the clouds break. Suddenly the car you thought was so shinny and great is basking in light that is not in your control, but shines for your better viewing regardless. Sonlight falling down on the old topic making it more vivid and more complete. Making it an inspired view. Granting understanding beyond what's in our ability.

It happend to me recently again, but this time is held a little more (O_o) than usual. Someone said something to me and, though it was apparent, it became much clearer in that moment and the moments to follow. It had only been a short time since I had been inspired, but this time it was not about scripture, about a world issue, or someones problems. This time it was about me. Though most revelations regardless of the toipc will apply to the revelee this one was aimed with the accuracy of a heavenly sniper and the bullet had my name all over it. I have a purpose and I know about it now. I feel like I snuck a peak at the upcoming test. Not like I know everything about it of course, but enough to have direction and (thankfully) some validity to the process that had been and are still is taking place around me.

I know many people who have read "A purpose driven life." I am proud of those who do. It shows a willingness and a hopefull curiosity that is both good in life and great as a Christian. The book, which has helped countless people discern their callings or at least their best usable attributes, is one of the better tools we have in stock today. But I'm difficult, or so I'm told (^_^) and I have not read it. Why? I look back over the ages and see countless inspired men and women. Inspired by a direct calling and direct line of comunication with the God we follow (A topic I am very interested in.). Developing to spiritual maturity and being handed a purpose through patients, trials, prayer, and a heart that longs. It has been said, though I can't remember by whom, that those who seek will find. Wether this was Gods word or not it is still true. I have many gifts and I'm sure they should all be put to use in service if possible but I thank God for shedding light on this purpose above the others. "What is it?" "Pshh! Not telling!" For the time being it is to much like a child to a new puppy. I'm too excited to let go. I refuse to stop squeezing it. *hugs* I'm excited for the future more now than yesterday. Which is the reason for the topic. To let you know that I have gained something such as this and where it came from. As well as to make a pointless comment on the difference between inspiration and compreshension. Not that the statements are as true to everyone as they are to me, but simply that they are true to me.

Imagination...Fuel of the dream

...or just synaptic misfires? Either way I have no complaints.

I like haveing a steady job and the fact that it has good pay and benefits is great too, but I go to work for two reasons. Niether of which is because it's for the greater good as I work in Tech Services. I like to go to work in the morning because A.) half the time I have such a workload that I can sit and Blog or web-surf or read up on something and B.) until the past few months, when I got involved in a few group bible studies, a large percentage of my friends are there. Ceratinly some of my closest. Hanging out at work is a blast at some moments becasue of them. Of course the playground is littered with tripwires if you get my drift and what is a good day can take a nose dive by way of unsavory topics, attitudes, and language. That is however not the point of the post.

This is about the Samiches, former, inactive, or otherwise. These guys are truly a motley crew if you can excuse the referance. On days we are lite on work the topics can be so very wild as to require a flow chart to keep track of it. Sometimes we even get to a point where several of us realize we had been talking for an extended period of time and then spend several minutes back tracking to figure out what the point was. Today, among other things, was a day for new ventures and playful antics in the shape and shade of a movie.

This is something the group has imagined many times over and wants to do. So many ideas have poured from these minds though most have been gut buster humor shorts. Finally, for whatever reason, we finally took a single step toward the creation of such a movie. The script is flowing nicely onto paper and each man has his role. Even camera angles and costumes are being concidered already. By this point you might be thinking "Wow, they are realy making a movie." You my friend, would be quite mistaken. I can't tell you how many ideas this group has thought about doing and at times even began with the intent on finishing.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining right now. In fact, weather this happens or not, I think that it is good for us to brainstorm and put forth group efforts together. Good for us to imagine and laugh. Good to have a sence of fellowship, though not one focused on God, that encourages and mediates. It is not always a matter of encouraging and mediating though. With the absence of God things at times get downright offensive and improper. Those times are not so grand nor are they helpful as fellowship goes. I guess I'm saying, at least for the good times, I am thankfull to have access to their dementia. Very different and uniquely talented individuals (though lazy as can be).

It has been and I hope continues to be my pleasure to see the growth in them as I have. Some have grown much since I have met them while others are just starting and having a tough time of it. I'll let you know if we actually start filming.

Some mood music?

So, it should be well known that I am a music fan. Which is somewhat an understatement but none the less...

The way it touches and stirs me inside. So much so that those who know me best can read me by the tone and energey of my playlist. Even more so I can be moved to change by my playlist. If I am in a mood I want out of I can prescribe musical medicine for myself. If I have no mood I can pick one from the mp3 archive I have and let flow. I understand I am not the only who can do this but I haven't met many who share my variety or extreames in tase. I, by design, have been a creature of change. As music has always been a key to my inner workings the tastes have changed greatly over the years and has yet to settle completely. The best thing? It's all retained. Though the analogy is a double edged one it is much like the creation of a several story tower. Such a building, in construction, is started at the bottom and is built upward piece by piece, layer by layer. It is true I dont often visit my foundation or the lower floors now, but that doesn't mean I have removed them. They are for better or worse part of my makeup or the makeup of this building. Over the years I have tasted and loved many styles;

(In order excluding the small ones like classical interests.)
70-80 R&B
Radio Play Top Ten (early pop)
80's Rock
Metal
Death Metal
Grunge
Horror Core
Hard Core Rap (Gangster Rap)
Hip Hop
Punk
90's R&B
Foreign
Ambient
Radio Play Top 100 (early 2000')
Techno (all varieties of electronica)
Christian Rock
Contemporary Christian
Trip-Hop

The last four on the list are still extreamly active. At each interval the music spoke to me and moved me. Though, as you can see, their was a long period where I touched on a darker view of things it was an itergral part of who I am. Even today, depending on the context and the group, I can appreciate the feel of the music and perhaps even the context but it is extreamly rare I revisit those foundations if ever. Having gained a bunch of web space to clog up I wanted to share some of the more recent and appropriate muscial styles. That being said...

(Right click and "save as" unless your on a high speed connection.)
Rachel Lampa
Andrew Peterson
Chevelle
Lincoln Brewster
The Benjamin Gate

These are five very different styles of Christian Music and all are fairly current. If you liked these I suggest you head to the TSQ Forums to try the others listed in the music section. Their are a ton of them.

No more down time...

I don't have a big post here or anything but I wanted to let everyone know the TSQ Forums are back up and functioning again. I will try to keep things alive there but if you feel like stopping by and saying hello that would be cool as well. Also, I am building an image gallery of I don't know what and making some other changes to the layout so keep an eye out and dont be afraid to click on things.

Sorry the posts to days ratio is so low the past weeks. I grossly underestimated the questions I was to be doing and it feels like crunch time every night. So, though I am enjoying the work, I havent had much else on my mind but what I'm studying. Perhaps I'll post some info on that topic but I'd like to have some non-school posts as well.

Anyrate, back to the grind lest I fall behind.

Parties over...

I walked away from this one a little battered. It's not over of course so I can certainly have another shot at it. Tonight was the birthday party of a very close friend. Nearly family if you know what I mean. Anyway, I love these people dearly and they are a ton of fun to be around. Tonight was different though, tonight took a swan dive onto the pavement towards the end.

The story: The husband, who is a good man, comes from a background of drinking and though is normally in control can travel well over the line if not monitored, as was the case tonight. The party went well untill most of the guests had left and then it became apparent that he had had to much to drink and was still going. It's wild to see the change of a person once the inhabition it utterly removed. This guy can flood a room with the quantity of curses that pour from his mouth. (Both the four letter version and the JC's and GD's which get me so rapidly riled up.) Not that he has a focused anger, it seems to be a habit let loose in the moment. I wanted to ask him to stop and truthfuly I should have, but I didn't. Partially becasue he was so drunk I didn't think he'd remember from the then to the next minute and I hate to waste the effort when he wakes up tomorrow and doesnt remember. Also because I am still learning to speak up against such unwitting attacks. I have been doing it at work but being in the moment here it didn't come as easy. Anyway, as if that weren't rough enough, as we left the party (last ones to leave) the wife and the husband got into it. She didn't mean to pick a fight and he didn't want to hear anything she had to say unless it agreed with him. (I think I've had similar moments sober :p) This went very quickly into the precurser to a domestic disturbance call. We hung around to mediate though not to much sucess I might add and then when things got quiet we left. I got a call a bit later that things had gotten much worse not long after we left and I wont say what I mean. Needless to say I felt bad for leaving and unfortunatly live to far to just drive over at 2:30 in the morning. What obviously needs done is clear and no this is not the first time. But in the end this fight rests with the family. The wife has yet to follow through with threats of leaving and their is no effective reasoning with which to bring authorities in on. The husband has yet to step up to his responsabilities regarding the matter. After all that I would like to state that these people are some of the kindest, giving, and loving people I know. The post gives a fairly negative view of them but it is by no means a complete view of them.

Then I suddenly wondered why I seem to be having so much going on with real problems and dealings with others. As apposed to the "Maguiver Files" or tiny revelations like the earlier posts. Then it struck me (or He struck me) I literaly asked for this. ^_^ I asked for a job and I asked to be developed for a purpose. These aren't the jobs I have envisioned but they are jobs none the less and no doubt I am being refined in the process. So, taking this in stride, I stepped forward and tossed my hat in the ring again. I sent him a letter which I am praying is recieved in proper time and taken in proper context. Also, that it doesnt fall on a hardened heart. Pray with me.

Read The Letter

Not so bad...

Maybe you've noticed from the last few posts that I have been struggling and a bit frustrated lately. It's true. I've been butting heads with a lot of heavy thoughts lately as well as running the ridgeline of change. I just wanted to mention that things are as they should be despite all the trouble I have (and haven't) been posting about. Though at times I have so much I want to post I don't like having to say later "I don't feel/think that anymore" so for that reason I tend to keep those posts to myself. Change is beating down my door.

Some quick stops before I game tonight;
-I am not a fan of John Warwick. Though he is a highly educated man and has much to say that is important to hear, something (which is visible and clear) turns my stomach when he writes. He is the "required reading" for this course and of the two books I must read, one is writen well over my head, the other seems to take the misconseptions of others and then base a further misconception on it. I will of course read them both as it is required of me and I will attempt to stay open to the fragments of truth, but may return for a Blog Rant session.

-I am a fan of John Davis. He is the main course study and though hard to follow at times does a wonderful job of getting to the heart of the scripture. The difficulties come from the very frequent and sudden use of external references, names of other researchers, dates of various things, and multiple translations of the original text throughout the course of the book.

-Also, I finished the 18+ hours of audio lecture today. I want to listen to it again in the coming week as I know I have already lost or missed so much of what was said. I was like a baseball player in a hail storm. Trying to catch as much as I could but clearly missing things all around. The cool part is I have everything on audio CDs as well as the transcripts so I can co back anytime. Which is good casue I plan on doing all the tests and essays tomorrow which I'm currently thrilled about. (No, seriously...I am.)

-Lastly, I have had two study group sessions since the earlier post and things are going better, but I believe this will take time. Since paying attention to such matters recently it has become apparent that God will have to do much refining for me to get where I believe He wants me. Not to mention where I will be less at odds with myself. The trick will be to stay focused and to take the struggle in stride, but I trust it will get done to His satisfation and perpose eventually.